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Wrath of the Dark Kat
Cast * Jake Clawson/Razor - Barry Gordon * Chance Furlong/T-Bone - Charles Adler * Callie Briggs – Tress MacNeille * Commander Feral – Gary Owens * Lieutenant Furlong - Kevin Conroy Guest Cast (in order of appearance): * Dark Kat – Brock Peters * Nuclear Plant Technician #3 – Hal Rayle * Lieutenant Commander Steel – Hal Rayle * Enforcer Pilot #1 – Hal Rayle * Enforcer Pilot #2 – Hal Rayle * Burke – Mark Hamill * David Litterbin - John Byner Supporting Cast (in order of appearance): * Nuclear Plant Guard – Arte Johnson * Nuclear Plant Technician #1 – Barry Gordon * Nuclear Plant Technician #2 – Frank Welker * Ann Gora – Candi Milo * Al – Frank Welker * Enforcer Captain – Barry Gordon * Murray – Barry Gordon Transcript Act One Guard: Halt or we’ll shoot! Dark Kat: Citizens of Megakat City, this is Dark Kat. My business at this facility will be brief. I warn you, do not interfere! I repeat, do not interfere! You have witnessed only a sample of my destructive power! Any more acts of defiance, and Megakat City will suffer on a grand scale. Technician #1: What the–? Oof! Technician #2: Stop! This is a secured area! Put me down! Technician #3: They’ve breached the reactor! Everybody get out! Get out! Ann: As usual, Kat’s Eye News is first on the scene of this late-breaking story at Megakat Nuclear Plant. And it appears Deputy Mayor Callie Briggs has just arrived. Lt. Furlong: Well well. You're just in time, Deputy Mayor Briggs. Hey! Who are you?! Steel: Everybody stand back! This area is under Enforcer control! That means you, too, lady! Callie: Now listen here! I’m– Feral: Back off, Steel. Let Deputy Mayor Briggs through. Lt. Furlong: Feral: You must forgive Lieutenant Steel, Ms. Briggs. He’s green and a little too ambitious. Callie: What’s the situation here, Commander? Feral: Dark Kat has broken into the reactor. We’re just about to move in, if you’d like to stay and watch the fireworks. Callie: Fireworks? Commander, you can’t fire this close to the reactor! One mistake and the whole city could be poisoned by radioactivity! Feral: And what do you suggest I do, Ms. Briggs? Wait for Dark Kat to steal all the nuclear matierial inside? Feral to all units! Move in now! Blast that Dark Kat! Very well. Let’s see what he can do against this! Dark Kat will never be able to hit three targets traveling faster than the speed of sound! Kats alive! Those were the best razor-sharped pilots I had… Callie: I know two better ones. The SWAT Kats. also known as Razor and T-Bone. Jake: You better put these on. (Jake wears a red headband and Chance wears a purple headband) Good. Now get peppering! Pepper number one. Hey, what's the matter, kiddo? Can't a breathe your fire to get a cough? Chance: (choke) Blegh! Augh! Volcano burn! Jake: Well, I’ll see that, and raise you this. Heh. Chance: Well, I raise yours! Callie: Razor, T-Bone, We need your help! Jake: Hey, it's worth a call! Yes, Ms. Briggs? Callie: Razor, T-Bone, there’s big trouble. It’s Dark Kat. He’s broken into the Megakat Nuclear Plant, and the Enforcers are helpless to stop him. Razor: Got it, Ms. Briggs, we’re on our way! (clears throat) SWAT Kats! To the jet! Listen, T-Bone. You know that mongo peppers are totally vain for us! Tell the truth, T-Bone. Did you really eat that last mongo pepper? T-Bone: But, Razor, I can’t believe you’d even ask me that. I can still feel the afterburn. An afterburn head to head maximum thrust would be right about... now! Razor: Isn't this the sweetest place that we live in a whole life, T-Boy? T-Bone: No doubt for alignment, Razor. You are one macho kat. Razor: Ain’t it the truth? T-Bone: The truth. Heh heh heh. Lt. Toby: Who are those high-tech edges flying, sir? Feral: The SWAT Kats! What are they doing here? Callie: Your job, Feral. Razor: Looks like these days are so tough right about this. So, Dark Kat’s back. Well he won’t get away from us this time! T-Bone: Good morning, Dark Kat, this is your wakeup call! Razor: If these Baby Boomer Missiles didn't make a dent, There must be some kind of a forcefield surrounding the ship. Since explosives don’t work, this could be the perfect time to try out my new Scrambler Missile. If a million megavolts couldn't take out of these things, nothing will. T-Bone: Good idea. But it means surrounding the ship but explosives. Ann: Don’t wimp out on me now, Al! Get in closer! Al: It’s too dangerous, Annie! Ann: For Kat’s Eye News? Come on! I wanna see Dark Kat’s expression when the SWAT Kats whip his tail! Whoa! Al: Great kats! We’ve lost our main rotor! We’re goin’ down! Act Two Razor: Oh my gosh! T-Bone: We’re hit! Where’s that Scrambler Missile? Razor: Jammed. That heat blast messed us up good. We’re sittin’ ducks! T-Bone: Sittin' ducks?! No, we’re outta here! And use our brains! Steel: Look, Commander. The SWAT Kats have failed! Feral: Shut up, you idiot. This is no time to gloat. Steel: Sorry, Commander, I just thought– Feral: Don’t think, listen. The only way to stop Dark Kat is from inside that ship. I’m going to try to sneak in. I’ll take along a signal device, so you and the Enforcers can follow me. Steel: Yes sir. It’s an inspired plan, sir. Feral: No, it’s desperate and it’s stupid! But I’ve run out of options. Captain! I want you to throw everything you’ve got at Dark Kat on my order! Enforcer Captain: Yes sir! Feral: If I don’t come back, you’re in command, Lieutenant. Steel: I’m hardly worthy, Commander. Feral: You can say that again. Fire! Callie: Where’s Feral? Steel: He left, and I’m in charge. Lieutenant Commander Steel, that’s with two Es. Feral: Steel, I’m on Dark Kat’s ship. Set up tracers while try to stop him. Steel: Yes sir. Good luck, sir. And break a leg… David Litterbin (on TV): Let's see who's the best captain and who's the worst captain of all time. Remember. The Dark Kat Razor: Who T-Bone: That Dark Kat’s never brought us an object but bad luck. You got almost hit those fuel tanks? Razor: Well it could’ve been worse, but not us. T-Bone: He almost hit our fuel tanks. Razor: Man, Callie's calling. Looks like she's still late again. We’re here, Ms. Briggs, repairing the Turbokat. Callie: Well you’d better hurry. Dark Kat escaped with some nuclear fuel rods, and Feral sneaked aboard to stop him! Razor: Feral? Razor: T-Bone: Ain't it the truth, this time? Feral: Steel, this is Feral. Are you following my signal? Lt. Furlong: Steel: I’m sorry, sir, but we haven’t had a chance to scramble any jets yet. Uh, mechanical problems. Lt. Furlong: What are you saying, Steel? Where’s his backup? Steel: Be patient, sir. We’ll be there as soon as possible. … But not too soon. Feral: He hung up on me! The little creep hung up on me! Dark Kat: It’s about time you said hello, Commander. I imagine it was getting rather chilly in the cargo bay. Feral: You’re too late, Dark Kat! The Enforcers are right behind me! Dark Kat: You’re referring to the signal this communicator is sending, I assume. Well let your men come! By the time they arrive, Megakat City will be in ruins! Welcome aboard the Doomsday Express, Commander! Enjoy the ride! Razor: (voice over) The meaning of true people can work so hard, the true people could get a true meaning of jobs, I still can't think of these people could cut the money for spend somewhere in the whole city. Razor: This is all so weird, Chance. I mean Dark Kat, Feral, it’s like deja vu. T-Bone: Deja who? D'uuuh.. Who said that? Razor: Mmm mmm..I mean not only are we going after Dark Kat, but we also have to save Feral’s tail. And Callie once who got called for me. Remember what he did to us that day? 'Cause we can be volunteers anyway. T-Bone: Remember? How could you ever forget? (begin flashback) Enforcer Pilot #1: Jake, Chance, let him go! It’s too dangerous! Jake: Negative. We’re gonna bringing Dark Kat in. You guys get yourselves some donuts. Enforcer Pilot #2: You two are nuts! We’re breakin’ off pursuit! Jake: Roger that, leave it to us. (to Chance) Just keep an eye on. Chance: We’ll bring this psycho in if it kills us. Dark Kat: Now I’ll destroy the justice machine that protects Megakat City! Jake: Chance, he’s locking missiles on the new Enforcer building! Chance: No can do. Jake: Then we gotta nail him now, Chance! Chance: No problemo, Jake! Jake: Activate the missile! Chance: That oughta deployed him! Dark Kat: No! My missiles won’t fire! Jake: Knocked out his weapons system! One more shot and Dark Kat is history! Feral: This is Feral! Fall back, you two. I’ll handle Dark Kat. Jake: Negative, Commander Feral! Hey, I can respect that as usual! Ha! Lt. Furlong: I'll handle Dark Kat, too! Chance: Big brother?! What the- Hey! Lt. Furlong: We're in charge of it. Jake: We already have our missiles locked! It's our tag! Feral: I’m ordering you to back off! Chance: No problemo! I repeat, sir, we’ve got a lock! Lt. Furlong: Jake: We’re outta the game, Chance. Think it's time for a plan Z yet? Chance: Nope! Jake: Any ideas how to eject? Chance: Uh oh. I don't see any eject buttons out there! Feral: Huh? Dark Kat’s gone! All because of those two young sure-hotshots! Jake: Totally heck of a totally vain, Chance. Chance: Monumental disaster, Jake. We're goners! Feral: I’m glad you both agree. Because this is the last act of vandalism you will ever perform on this city. Jake: It was our view tag, Commander! We're so sorry we messed the city, we promise that we won't do it ever again! Please, forgive us! Feral: Unaxceptable! Jake: But, Commander! None of this would have happened if you hadn’t interferred, sir! Chance: Hey! I'm the best pilot! Lt; Furlong: No! I'm the bestest pilot, because I'm very strong and I'm older than you! Feral: That’s it! You’re off the force! Both of you! Jake: Hey hey, Calm down, You got to be kidding! You can call me Mr. Jake, and Chancey-Boy. Feral: I like that. But uh...Now get off the force, or else?! Jake: Suits us! Jake / Chance: Who needs the crud all the time? Feral: Just a minute. I said you’re off the force, but not off the hook. There’s still the matter of paying for this building, and that’s what you two are going to be doing for a long, long time. (later, Jake wears a red sweater over a white long sleeve collared shirt with a pair of blue jeans and white sneakers with red stripes and Chance wears a light blue shirt under a purple vest, a pair of black jeans with and black with blue) Murray: Hey look, Burke. it’s those two hotshots who wrecked the new Enforcer building. Burke: Don’t look so hot, now, do they? Hey, Feral says you guys gotta run the salvage yard, ’till you pay back every penny it costs to rebuild the Enforcer building. Murray: Yeah, and at your present salary, it’ll only take a thousand years! Burke: Take care of the place, now, boys! Murray: We’ll be checkin’ up on ya! Jake: Looks like Feral didn't pay attention to us like we're happening, Ain't ya, Chance? Chance: Aargh! That's not the military! We’re pilots and not junkmen! My big brother flies his own jet better than me! Jake: Hey, Cool it, kiddo. The rest of a century salvage here to build our own jet. You know that your big brother's a best pilot, but he's older than you. Come now, Chance. Should've been working on aircrafts anyway, So we can all get in a jet of each of its own. Chance: Hmmm... You know what, Jake, There's might be thinking of a fact that Feral keeps saying that apologizing won't help it all the time. I say there's enough military salvage here. (end flashback) Jake: That's why we're supposed to do! Chance: And do what? Jake: Get back in the air and get back at Dark Kat! And all the other criminal scum who rear their nasty faces in Megakat City. Chance: Only this time, we do it our way! Jake: Looks like we gotta be in the jet! Well, what are we waitin’ for, big fella? Chance: Uh, Coming. (change to SWAT Kat uniforms) Razor: SWAT Kats! To the jet! T-Bone: Time to take care of Dark Kat! And this time, we do it our way! Dark Kat: My Doomsday Device is nearly complete, Commander. The nuclear fuel rods I just stole are the last components I require. In less than on hour, I will destroy Megakat City! And from its ashes I will create a new city, where lawlessness is the law of the land! Dark Kat City! Razor: Feral’s signal is coming from inside that volcano, T-Bone. T-Bone: Inside? You sure? Razor: No doubt about it. Swing around. Maybe the X-Ray Beam will show us a way in. The volcano’s honeycombed with passages, but no real door. T-Bone: No real entrance? Guess we’ll just have to buy the entrance, huh? Razor: Affirmative. T-Bone: Let Razor releasing this Mole Missile first! Razor: Bingo! We’re in! T-Bone: Your releasing Mole Missile is good, Time to settle up with Dark Kat. Dark Kat: Careful, my Creeplings. We don’t want any accidents. The SWAT Kats! You didn’t mention they were joining the party, Commander. Razor: The signal’s coming in strong. Dark Kat should be dead ahead! T-Bone: Dead ahead? Where? Act Three Dark Kat: Watch this, Commander. The SWAT Kats are about to discover that tunnel offers no escape! Razor: T-Bone! T-Bone: I know, I know! What do you want me to do, stop?! I see em' Dark Kat: So much for the SWAT Kats. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Doomsday! Razor: Any ideas? T-Bone: The Glovatrix. Don’t leave base without it. Razor: Roger that. T-Bone: Now we're the fastest weapons in the southwest! Dark Kat: Now sit there and be quiet. This won’t take much longer. T-Bone: Heads up, Dark Crud! Dark Kat: Too late! My bomb is armed! Game’s over! Razor: T-Bone! Dark Kat: Nevermind me! Load the bomb! Razor: T-Bone! T-Bone: Hey, where have you been? Razor: What took ya so long anyway? Dark Kat is getting away! Feral: We have to stop him! Lt. Furlong: Then we better hurry! Razor: "we?" What do you mean, “we?” T-Bone: But, Toby- Lt. Furlong: No buts! Razor: Looks like you won’t be needing a ride, Feral. T-Bone: Yep! Razor: So how you could borrow these things? T-Bone: Well, I'm gonna cement the Dark Kat once it for all! (growls) That make me extremely mad! Steel: Commander Feral, you’re okay? Feral: Lights against you all the way, Steel? Steel: Uh, sorry, sir, we had trouble getting organized- Feral: Mister, you don’t know what trouble is. But I’m going to introduce you to some! Steel: Bit sir… Lt. Furlong: Steel: I’m not really trained for this. Lt. Furlong: Too late, Feral: You want my job, greenhorn? This is how you learn it. Dark Kat: Today will become the blackest day in Megakat City’s history. Razor: (gasps) Oh my gosh! T-Bone: We’re too late! Razor: He’s ready to unload! T-Bone: It’s not over ’till the fat kat sings! (laughs) That's a good one! Dark Kat: And now, it’s doomsday time. Why won’t the bomb release? It’s one of those meddling SWAT Kats! Take care of him! Your luck just ran out! Razor: Crud! Holy kats! Dark Kat: Megakat City is history, my Creeplings! Razor: Looks like that ridiculous thing as soon as we can't be free anymore, ain't ya? T-Bone: Razor, jump! I’ll blast the bomb as soon as you’re to be honor! Razor: T-Bone, Don't! It’ll explode for sure and destroy the city. I’ve gotta try to disarm this baby right now. Oh. and by the way, but we can't be free anyway. T-Bone: (coward) Did you said that explode and destroy the city that you're gonna disarm once? You mean we're all goners?! Oh no! we're doomed! Razor: Relax, T-Bone, you're always being a coward of all time. T-Bone: Well, you got a better question. Razor: Any last requests, T-Boy? Just in case. T-Bone: Dealing with Dark Kat! Razor: Uh, how about you, T-Boy? Tell me about it. T-Bone: You've got the final exams, buddy? Razor: Yeah. Get Dark Kat! T-Bone: Ain't it the truth? Heh heh. Razor: Just remember, always cut the red wire. Aw, Dark Kat, you miserable meanie! T-Bone: Oh, boy! What a deadly psycho! Dark Kat: Will I never be rid of those infernal SWAT Kats? T-Bone: Switching to auxillary weapons panel. This is for you, Razor. Guide my hand, hotshot. Dark Kat, I am takin’ you down! Dark Kat: No! My shields have short-circuited! Razor: Say goodnight, Dark Kat! Feral: Back off, SWAT Kat! The Enforcers will handle this! Razor: You back off, Feral! I can handle this! It’s my tag! And this tag is mine! Feral: Steel, return fire! Steel: I, I don’t have any experience in this, sir. I’ve never been in an actual air fight! I think I’m gonna be sick! Lt. Furlong: No other choice, job stealer! Feral: And you wanted my job…? Razor: This has gotta be the right wire. Well, I’ll soon find out. Bingo. T-Bone: That outta wire him! Feral: Out of the way, SWAT Kat! I’m taking Dark Kat personally! Razor: We did it! T-Bone: Deja vu city! Razor: This one’s for you, T-Bone! Too bad T-Bone wasn’t here to see it. T-Bone: Hey, Razor, how’s it going up there? But he’s not crowdin’ me out this time! Razor: T-Bone! T-Bone: Mission accomplished. And I hope you must’ve stopped the bomb from wreckin’ the city. Razor: Basically, yeah, you better pick me up at Enforcer Headquarters, before Feral comes back and sticks us. T-Bone: On my way. You got another bill. Ka-boom! Category:SWAT Kats episode transcripts Category:Season 1 Category:1993